


somewhere not here

by rosegoldqian



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Small Town, Boys Kissing, Break Up, Friendship, How Do I Tag, Kissing, Light Angst, Loneliness, M/M, Missing Persons, Past Relationship(s), Sad Nakamoto Yuta, Small Towns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 11:53:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21475594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosegoldqian/pseuds/rosegoldqian
Summary: “Well, Taeil…anyone ever teach you not to talk to strangers?”The red-haired boy gave the barest of shrugs, a mischievous grin on his face.“Usually the strangers I was warned about weren't this attractive.”Basically Yuta is sad and then Taeil shows up
Relationships: Moon Taeil/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	somewhere not here

**Author's Note:**

> hoiiiii~
> 
> this is the very first time i am contributing my trash fics to this website so i apologize if i didnt tag correctly
> 
> so basically this is a whole ass fic that ive been writing up little by little for the past forever, everything is pretty much explained so dw im not leaving yall in the dark about anything
> 
> for some reason i had the undying urge to write a little side story about Yuta and a little bit of his take on the whole story. so all i will say without spoiling too much in case i actually DO post the entire fic is that 
> 
> 1\. this is 6k of trash writing so im sorry if you had high expectations ;-;  
2\. jaehyun is the missing character in the tags  
3\. the entire story is v angsty and friendship based, so no other chapter of it that i might post will have as much spicey bits as this side story does  
4\. enjoy :)

It was guaranteed an… interesting time at one of Ten's parties. Ten's parties and strange, both were concepts that went hand in hand with each other, they either had a sort of charm or something to remember by, or you couldn't remember anything from the night at all.

For example, the time Ten had found out that his boyfriend was cheating on him, so he threw a celebration in which everyone drank to their hearts content and joined in on tossing all of the assholes belongings in the freezing pool. Or another time, when the stock of beer ran out so some guy Yuta had never met used some of Ten's family heirloom rum to make something called a "zombie" and everyone got completely intoxicated after just one glass. Yuta doesn't remember much from that night. The Japanese boy had frequented many of his parties before, especially in his first year of collage, but it had been a few years since he partook in one.

Tonight being his first in quite a while. Not that Yuta found the parties to his liking anyways, he mostly showed up for the drinks to possibly aid him from his occasional wondering thoughts. He would rather be here than his loft which was becoming a dangerous place for him, especially at night. The white noise was deafening and it only got worse when trying to sleep on cold sheets in an empty bed.

Now, in his third year in college and barely having a hold on his tuition despite leaving his party life behind, Yuta can't say he's enjoying himself as much as he would anymore. The music was too loud, people were shouting every few minutes, and the amount of drunk bodies shoving past him in the smaller corridors of the house made him more annoyed than anything.

Yuta was never one to be a grumpy drunk, but, not even the beer was making his situation more tolerable. The liquid looking more and more like that of the oil he put in his car last week, probably tasted like it too. He guessed, it's not like Yuta went about chugging car oil in his spare time.

The urge to text Doyoung did cross his mind several times, however, Yuta knew Doyoung was going out with Johnny tonight. Whether or not those two idiots would admit it's a date, he still would feel awful disturbing the two, so instead, he sighs while looking down into his red plastic cup.

He had nearly forgotten why he stopped coming to these parties. Over the rest of his first year starting collage, Yuta mostly hung out with his girlfriend of four years, so sadly, the red solo cups and beer pong games were shoved to the back burner for quite a while. Only getting a small sliver of a taste in the drunken party-boy life before his girlfriend begged to be the center of his attention again.

The two of them had been dating since high school, and anyone Yuta would speak to in town knew already of their weirdly public relationship. Yuta was very hesitant on telling people about the two of them in the beginning due to the fact that they were a couple consisting of two people from neighboring towns that despised each other. Eyes would surely be on the couple with the boy from the sleepy town of Neoville and the girl from the very... upperclass town of Everton. And they were. Yuta would admit, it wasn't easy being her boyfriend. Before asking her out, he really didn't think it through much until it was too far into their relationship to turn back.

She had caught Yuta's eye the second he heard of her transfer to his old highschool. Johnny teased him relentlessly since anyone in their age range from Everton seemed to intrigue Yuta, despite claiming to hate everyone from the neighboring town.

↬☆↫

"The shithole is full of snobs, why would I even want to be involved with someone spawned from there," crossing his arms, Yuta pouted. His tray of food forgotten in front of him.

"Whatever, dude, I saw the heart eyes you gave her during PE," Johnny chuckled mockingly, disregarding Yuta's sad attempts at defending himself, his gaze returning to his mashed potatoes. The older dismissed the whole conversation as if it wasn't him who brought Yuta's new crush up in their discourse in the first place.

"C'mon, Yuta, no need to get upset," always the mediator, Doyoung chimed in. "I say just go for it and ask her out."

Yuta gave his best friend an unamused eyebrow raise at his advice. Considering Doyoung has had the fattest crush on Johnny since the three of them started their little friend group back in middle school and has said absolutely nothing to said boy about his feelings, Yuta can only take his words with a grain of salt.

Thinking about when Doyoung's crush on Johnny began blossoming reminded him of back in middle school. Yuta initiatially mistook the one Doyoung had the hots for and thought it was Jaehyun, and naturally, he tried to set them up. The Japanese boy notice a difference in Doyoung's overall behavior right when Jaehyun joined their group. However, during his attempts to make them realize their feelings for each other, there was miscommunication and Jaehyun almost wound up thinking it was Yuta himself that had a crush on him. It still hurt to be rejected by Jaehyun even though he didn't like him in that way. Jaehyun was really bad at letting him down slowly.

A long story, possibly for a different time.

Doyoung responded with spitting his tongue out at Yuta and if said female he had a crush on hadn't just walked in the cafeteria, Yuta would have flung the rest of his mystery meat loaf at his bestfriend.

↬☆↫

It came as no surprise that their relationship ended with her breaking things off abruptly near the end of Yuta's first year of college. Well, no surprise to her at least. As heartwrenching as it was for Yuta, he can't say that there wasn't a small part of himself that was a little relieved. Still, it didn't stop his mind from occasionally drifting back to her parting words from time to time.

Smack in the middle of November, Yuta stood paralyzed in his cold tiny loft in complete appall even hours after she left out the front door and his life for good. In that moment, the 4 years he spent with her flashes through his head like a mirage. Somehow, Yuta couldn't bring himself to remember what he had done wrong, although slightly apprehensive, he allowed her words to echo through his head. For her, Yuta had turned into an emotionless shell when it came to anything involving their relationship that wasn't sex, however, she wouldn't tell him exactly when he became that way. He could only guess.

Some of his past insecurities slowly began to surface following that night. She had planted a seed of anxiety in the very pit of Yuta's soul. Up until now, he hasn't trusted himself enough to start up a new relationship with anyone else. He wanted more than anything to be a good boyfriend to someone. The thought of his past girlfriends only dating him because he was good in bed, left Yuta with a heavy feeling in his stomach and no desire to meet someone new.

Highschool seemed to be where Yuta used up all of his relevance and so-called popularity. Although, popularity could be used very loosely, Yuta was one of the students most spoken about throughout their highschool, but the things being said about him weren't always positive. Be it girls talking about how hot he was or guys talking about how much they wanted to punch him in the face.

It was laughable, the amount of his classmates or fellow club members that claimed with their whole chest that they were his friends. Without a doubt, it was the drama club that turned out to be the most fake little shits Yuta ever had the displeasure of knowing. Anyone excluding Doyoung, Johnny and Jaehyun after those four slow and tiring years was promptly deleted off of Yuta's phone. Good riddance.

And even then, after everything Yuta's been through with those three, he still has his doubts.

If there's one thing he took away from highschool and his previous girlfriend; it's second guessing everyone who he thinks he knows. Everything after their breakup was hell for Yuta, not only because of the breakup, but ever since Christmas eve two years ago, everything in Yuta's life seemed to change. He often wondered if that was when he stopped putting effort into his and his girlfriends relationship.

Doyoung and Yuta had been friends long before Jaehyun and Johnny were in the picture. They swore they were bestfriends until the end, however it's been a while since Yuta has heard Doyoung call him that. Of course, back when they were dumbass naive kids, they said stuff like how they were going to run far away together. It only added fire to Yuta's newfound loneliness that they didn't call each other that anymore.

It's not as if he dislikes the other two, that's not the case. Once they met Johnny and Jaehyun, everything seemed to click, and the four of them were close. Bestfriends. Brothers even.

That's what Yuta thought.

Looking back, Yuta truly believed they would all be that close forever. Middle school was only the beginning for them, eventually the four were completely inseparable. So many of Yuta's fondest memories were shared with them. Doyoung was always like a brother and him and Johnny may have been at odds more often than not and constantly teasing each other, but Yuta cared about him probably just as much as Doyoung.

And Jaehyun...

After the click, overtime something shifted out of place in their friendship.

Yuta could only let so much of it all slide. Over only a few short months after graduation, Doyoung and Jaehyun seemed to have shared more secretive glances and giggles at each other. The three of them started hanging out at the diner in town without telling Yuta. He noticed more and more inside jokes he wasn't a part of, more meetings and conversations he missed, eventually he grew tired of it all until he gradually stopped responding to the three of them altogether.

He tried to set aside all of the years of their friendship for an entire year. It was petty as hell, but he already felt alienated enough. It became draining to hang out with them, a constant reminder that they were secretly meeting behind Yuta's back, so what was the point of him even being there. Bringing any of his concerns up to them wasn't an option for Yuta, he was afraid that they would just brush him off or possibly gaslight him.

So, he blamed not having any free time on his internship at the law firm right outside of Neoville, hoping their entire friendship would fade away soon enough. A lot of what happened throughout that year of his life, Yuta kept the three of them unaware of. His breakup, his possible rapid decline in mental health and self confidence, everything. In fact, Yuta can count the amount of times he saw them during that year on both of his hands, although it wasn't that great of an accomplishment given the circumstances. At the end of the day it was nothing short of selfish, and thinking back at everything, Yuta blamed himself everyday that he should have been a better friend considering the outcome.

A better friend to Jaehyun specifically.

Looking back on their friendship, Yuta felt him and Jaehyun weren't as close as he originally thought. Sure it didn't mean they were not fond of each other, most of the time Yuta could stand Jaehyun more than the other two idiots when they were all together.

Nearly three years after Jaehyun's disappearance, Yuta found it increasingly hard to pick up the phone and dial Doyoung or Johnny. A hollow pit left in his chest everytime he would try to press the call or send button but wouldn't. Things shouldn't be this difficult, they were bestfriends for christ sake.

They were, weren't they?

The four of them have been through hell and back together. Yuta would never wish to erase any memory of them that they made…

Before his thoughts could get any further, Yuta sighed seemingly for the millionth time that night, and took another small swill of his drink. Scanning the kitchen Yuta stood pitifully in, a small red blur caught his eye in the breakfast nook. Some loud and very drunk men were just playing beer pong in the little nook moments prior, so he chalked it up to being a cup thrown or something of the sort. The rowdy atmosphere of the party intensified during his miserable inner monologue.

He downed another sip and so far it was only his third or so sip of his beer, so Yuta didn't have many qualms about driving himself back to his loft. The thought of ordering and waiting for someone to pick him up and drive in and out of Ten's small and somewhat discrete neighborhood threatened a headache for Yuta, so he decided against it.

Usually if Yuta was coherent enough before leaving one of Ten's parties he would bid him a small goodbye, however, not long after he arrived Yuta noticed Ten disappear upstairs with someone, so god only knew what he was up to. One could guess, but Yuta is tired and wants to leave.

He hadn't recognized anyone there, most of the drunken crowd presumably from Everton. Ten's parents house wasn't far from the line separating the two neighboring towns. Since highschool, Yuta noticed the Thai boy seemed to surround himself more with people from Everton more so than Neoville. Not like Yuta could judge, of course. The two of them were arguably similar during highschool, Yuta wondered why they weren't better friends back then…

Oh right, because Yuta has trust issues.

He turned to toss his cup in the trash, but to his surprise, he was faced with a boy standing in the way of the bin. Yuta clearly wasn't paying as much attention to his surroundings as he thought. The boy looked nothing more than a little buzzed but that didn't discount the slight blush on his cheeks.

Yuta wondered if it was strange for him to think of another guy as cute.

Not that he thought it was weird for boys to think other boys are cute. That was fine. If Yuta had any ill intent towards gay people that would play a big factor in him being friends with Doyoung for so long, who is without a doubt, only into men. The thought just felt foriegn but also so natural to him at the same time, that's why it was so strange. The boy was definitely talking to him now, but Yuta's sudden predicament was now flooding over his brain making it difficult to think anything coherent. Perhaps it's the alcohol and that guy that made the zombies was there again and put something weird in the drinks.

“Hello? Are… you okay?” The boy- who doesn't look so much of a boy anymore because upon further inspection he seemed to be several years older than Yuta- knitted his eyebrows in concern while tucking a short, fluffy lock of hair behind his ear. It suddenly dawned on Yuta that his hair was a bright tomato red, and Yuta definitely did not think about running his fingers through it.

“Yeah… sorry what were you saying?” Curse his exhaustion, at least that's what Yuta is choosing to blame his newfound nerves on now. Three sips of beer is surely not enough of an excuse for the sheer amount of heat spreading through his chest and face.

“I was just wondering if you wanted some company-”

Yes.

“-but don't worry, I'll leave you be.”

“Wait,” strange once again couldn't begin to describe the feeling but, Yuta felt like he needed to keep a conversation with someone or he'll slip into the dark depths of his mind again. The parts where he didn't even want to think or feel or do anything anymore, usually reserved for when he's alone in bed and can't make his eyes drift away to dreamland. And if that someone is this red-haired cute boy, then so be it.

“What's your name?” It came out too soft and timid for Yuta's liking, although, anything to keep things rolling. If Yuta left this place without even knowing his name he would probably never forgive himself. The smaller boy thought for a second, tilting his head, gaze never leaving Yuta.

“Taeil.”

Now knowing the strangers name, Yuta looked over Taeil's form. The boy was shorter than him, the oversized blue sweater he wore swallowed him up completely, hem stopping right before the knees on his black ripped jeans. Taeil seems to notice Yuta staring, narrowing his eyes when both of their gazes lock again. “Well, Taeil…anyone ever teach you not to talk to strangers?”

The red-haired boy gave the barest of shrugs, a mischievous grin on his face.

“Usually the strangers I was warned about weren't this attractive.”

If you could choke on air, Yuta definitely would have in that moment. Okay, this guy was definitely flirting now. Commonly one would flirt back, but, it's been so many years since Yuta has done that with anyone so he's taken aback by Taeil's sudden advances.

Taeil leaned against the counter behind him anticipating a response although, all Yuta could focus on was the other now biting his bottom lip. He could blame it on the alcohol or his exhaustion until he was blue in the face but, neither of those things could explain the amount of sweat developing on his palms. Getting so nervous over talking to someone he didn't know wasn't a common occurrence for Yuta, but he was… intrigued. And maybe a little horny.

“You wanna get out of here?” Real subtle.

There was a small pause while Yuta considered the merits of throwing himself off the nearest cliffside. The smaller boy pushed himself away from the cabinets and so very close to Yuta that oxygen was starting to feel scarce and his heartbeat pounded harshly in his ears. Taeil simply nodded, dark brown eyes swimming with interest and a hint of delight.

It was the older who led them out of the house, looming through bodies of intoxicated people swaying back and forth to whatever music was playing. Yuta couldn't bring himself to concentrate on anything other than Taeil's warm hand laced with his own. Once through the front door they were both brutally hit with a rush of cold November wind, Yuta inwardly cursed and hoped the heat in his car still worked.

A particularly old and… humble little station wagon his parents didn't need anymore at the time so they gave it to him. Yuta surely needed an upgrade, but then he wouldn't be able to pay his bills for at least a year or so.

After unlocking the doors, Yuta took his seat in the driver's side while Taeil ducked into the passenger. He may have been a little insecure about his old- and very worn out car if he was being honest- but the other boy didn't appear to mind. Not like Yuta could read him at all, the boy seemed really quiet and aloof, perhaps that's what intrigued Yuta the most about him in the first place and now had them in this situation.

Whatever this situation was exactly… Yuta didn't know, but at least he isn't standing alone inside that stupid house anymore.

Once they were seated and Yuta cranked up the engine and turned on the heat, he turned his head to face Taeil finding that the other boy was already looking at him. Leaning his head back on the seat, something changed in his eyes, he looked like he knew something Yuta didn't. Pretty ironic considering Taeil doesn't know his name yet, how someone can act so confident in this sense when he hasn't even learned the others name is beyond Yuta.

If Taeil had put on his seatbelt by now, Yuta would have already driven off and it didn't matter where. Anything to get him to look away from the smaller boy, since it was becoming increasingly hard to look away from him the more they stared. It should have been awkward but it wasn't, the air around them swimming with tension more than anything else.

“Are you cold?” Yuta nearly whispered, their breathing seemed to be getting louder than the roaring engine of his car.

The smaller boy shook his head ever-so-slighty, abruptly leaning over towards him. Yuta had no time to react before Taeil reached over and grabbed the back of his head, running his hand through his long brown hair. The action sent a wave of little tingles through his neck, down his back, spreading to his fingertips. He wanted to melt into Taeil's touch completely, but instead Yuta took a deep breath and looked into his eyes, only inches between them.

Yuta made sure to flash the boy a look of anticipation, he had never been within this close of a proximity of another boy so making the first move was not a concept he could fully support. He only hoped that whatever Taeil's intentions were, they were congruent with his own.

Because Yuta really wanted to kiss him.

Taeil's darkened eyes followed his own hand as it released the brown locks and found its way to Yuta's face, thumb brushing over the apple of his cheek. Thankfully, when the smaller boy returned to look into his eyes again he couldn't hear the udder chaos materializing in Yuta's head.

The younger swallowed thickly, his saliva felt like lead. The thought of asking if he was going to kiss him crossed Yuta's mind but he concluded that breaking the silence would definitely ruin the moment. And there was really nothing to say, rather, the red-haired boy adjusted himself until he was on top of Yuta in the driver's seat, carefully stepping over the gear stick. Processing the back of Taeil's thighs brushing on his knees was ephemeral as said boy swiftly, and finally, closed the distance between them.

A small peck at first, Taeil wasted no time in deepening the kiss immediately. His eyes rolling back, Yuta began to drift as the tingles returned and with the help of Taeil's hot breath on his mouth; a rush of warmth coursed through his body. He allowed himself to sigh heavily through his nose.

Taeil's licked into his mouth, testing the waters. His hands held the sides of Yuta's head firmly enough to keep Yuta where he wanted but, not so tight that he couldn't pull away if he wanted to. Yuta's hands found purchase resting on his hips. The angle was a bit awkward for them to continue so Taeil slid his legs on either side of the youngers, now sitting completely on his lap.

Yuta pulled away slightly, panting as their lips still brushed together without connecting. He wished he didn't meet the boys gaze again as it was now an impossibly dark shade, his eyes half-lidded and filled with want and desire. Yuta could only imagine how messed up he looked to Taeil.

It felt good. To have someone want him after being alone for so long. Ever since the breakup, Yuta hadn't even kissed anyone, to say he was a little touch starved wouldn't be out of the ballpark. Spending a moment like this with someone- even a stranger like Taeil- it helped fill the gap that was left in his chest a little. It almost made the dejected feeling of waking up in a cold empty bed worth it. Almost.

“Where have you been?” The question slipped out before Yuta could stop it, eliciting a small giggle from the boy on top of him. If Taeil's laugh was a scent Yuta would bathe himself in it.

Biting his lip, Taeil's hands slid down his face again, one of them stopped on Yuta's jaw, the pad of his thumb brushing over his bottom lip. The other hand he felt reach underneath his shirt and touch his bare chest.

“Is this okay?” Taeil's voice was laced with caution for the first time. Yuta couldn't nod fast enough, knowing words would most likely fail him now. His abdomen burns where Taeil's hand rests on it.

Another exchange of hungry stares and Yuta is the one to reunite their lips, unlike Taeil he starts out slow, a little timid. Just touching their mouths together at first, lips to lips, tilting his head as to not poke the older in the eye with his nose. The first time Yuta initiated a kiss with a boy, however, not the first time he thought about it. Although he won't admit to it, but back in highschool there was one certain boy he had a crush on, besides his ex girlfriend.

Dong Sicheng, captain of the soccer team, and definitely not the reason Yuta joined the team briefly in their senior year. He blamed it on the hormones though, that he only went to practice to watch Sicheng change from afar in the locker rooms. It was impossible for someone to be so hot and so cute at the same time, it made Yuta aggressively turned on.

The soft smiles he made when speaking to his friends in what Yuta assumed was mandarin, the even bigger and brighter ones he wore when he would get the winning goal in a game. His voice so deep the ocean should be jealous, the glares he would send Yuta after catching him staring was enough to send Yuta to an early grave.

Practically the entire school wanted to get in his pants and Yuta was no different. Sicheng was the first to make him question things, he wanted so desperately to talk with someone like Doyoung about all of it but as soon as he brought it up, the words wouldn't form right in his head. It's not that difficult to say he might like dick, Yuta just felt… embarrassed? Like it was all too late and too sudden to matter. Doyoung had liked guys for longer than Yuta knew him, probably since he was even able to form a coherent sentence as a child. It was all too new to Yuta, it was too much to comprehend for him in highschool so he tried his best to push all of those thoughts away as best he could.

He can only recall speaking to Sicheng once; when he complimented Yuta on scoring a goal during practice, but what Yuta couldn't recollect was how he did that in the first place. He sucked ass at soccer so perhaps the sun was in his eyes and he accidentally kicked the ball into the goal. Still, just the compliment and Sicheng acknowledging him for the first time was enough for him to get painfully hard on the spot. It was clearly the hormones though, Yuta doesn't like boys.

Or so he tells himself as a boy is now sitting in his lap making out with him.

It didn't take long for Taeil to become impatient with Yuta's small kisses and slide his tongue inside the youngers mouth again. Yuta retaliates by swiping his tongue over the olders bottom lip and taking it between his teeth, the little moan that escapes him vibrates down Yuta's body and straight to his crotch. Amidst their fight for dominance Taeil leans away slightly only to grab something which Yuta recognizes as the lever for his seat when he falls backwards with Taeil. Now with him lying flush on top of Yuta, they pull back and the older has the audacity to smirk, wasting no time moving his lips to Yuta's neck.

Yuta turns his head to give him more clearance, it was then that he realized how much he was sweating and desperate for air. Squeezing his eyes shut as he felt Taeil's searing mouth start at his jaw and drag down to his collarbone in a stream of wet lingering kisses, the world spinned. Another jolt of heat sent to his nether regions as the olders mouth soon turned into his tongue and he licked a spot behind Yuta's ear.

Cursing inwardly, Yuta brought his hands up to slip between that stupid blue sweater and Taeil's skin, digging his fingers into his hips. The red-haired boy gasped in his ear. Their clothes were more of a restrictive aspect now instead of keeping them warm from the freezing wind outside. Taeil took it upon himself to glance over his shoulder and through the windshield. At least half of the people from the party were currently standing outside in different sized groups littering the sidewalks- for god knows why- it's way too cold but, Yuta guesses they're just idiots.

“Backseat,” Yuta offered breathlessly before latching his mouth to the skin connecting Taeil's shoulder and neck. The older simply hums in reply, his hand finding Yuta's hair again.

A few minutes pass as Taeil reluctantly pulls away and they both exit the car and reenter through the back door. Yuta leans the seats all the way back until it forms a flat enough surface to lay on. He turns off the car but doesn't lock it to keep Taeil from feeling trapped. Finally he discards the red, longsleeve flannel shirt he had on, remaining only in his jeans and a grey tank top. Even with the slight chill in the air after turning off the car, the heat raging inside of him left him burning up and sweaty. It was a strange feeling, luckily Yuta keeps some blankets in the trunk just in case.

The older sat on his elbows patiently next to him, Yuta could feel his eyes studying him throughout the entire process. Yuta wasn't sure how far things were going to go with him, but he knew however far it was it would be one of the few things he wouldn't regret in his life. Everything with Taeil felt right, as crazy as it sounded considering they only just met less than an hour ago.

“Kiss me,” not a demand, a request. He sounded as small as he looked when Yuta crawls over and adjusts himself in between Taeil's legs, hands finally finding the red locks.

And Yuta did.

↬☆↫

Taeil spends the few moments it takes for Ten to grab their coffee to glance out the window. Everything was still blanketed in a thick layer of snow and little flecks of snow can be seen fluttering down and disappearing in thin air. All the shops and houses were decorated relentlessly in dark reds and greens, some even with blowup snowmen and reindeer in their front yards. A quickly approaching reminder that Christmas is in a few weeks and Taeil still hadn't gone shopping.

Usually, he would try to buy the best gifts for his friends every year, it wasn't a competition but he still liked to see the surpirsed and amused faces they made when he gets them that one thing they mentioned they wanted in passing months prior. However, this year he felt a little hesitant in going all out on gifts. Maybe he can cook up a good enough excuse these passing weeks, or perhaps his friends won't even notice their lack of his gift at all.

Ten finally shuffles back to their table and places a cup gently in front of Taeil garnering his attention again. Whispering a small thank you to Ten, the older took a tiny sip of his latte, failing to not burn his tongue slightly.

“So,” Ten sits himself in the opposite booth of Taeil. A content smirk playing on his lips. “Are you going to spend the holidays with someone special this year finally.”

Inwardly rolling his eyes, Taeil ignored the last part of his inquiry. Finally… it had only been half a year since his last relationship ended, but even before that Taeil didn't spend Christmas with his last boyfriend, so maybe Ten had a point.

“Well aren't you tickled pink,” another minuscule slurp of his latte.

“No, just wondering,” Ten smiled innocently before sipping from his drink as well. It almost felt like he was hiding something from the older.

Taeil sighed, leaning back comfortably in the booths cushions. He could drift away to sleep on one of these damn booths one day, and he definitely has in the past. “Christ sake, just spit it out, Tenny.”

The younger set his cup on the table with a contemplative expression, gaze not daring to meet Taeil's. His words had no actual bite or annoyance in them, so he assumed something else must be bothering Ten so much for him to act so vague and reserved.

“It's just that… I saw you and Yuta chatting in the kitchen during the last party I had, and I was just wondering…”

Taeil raised an eyebrow suspiciously. At Ten's weird parties, he doesn't speak to anyone he doesn't know due to the fact Ten invites friends of friends that Taeil doesn't particularly know or trust, but he's definitely never met someone named Yuta before. He doesn't have much of a memory of why he even attended the party, Ten most likely begged him. Surely though, he would remember someone with that-

Oh. Oh.

The lattes high temperature forgotten as Taeil suddenly gulped the remaining few ounces left, the molten drink burning his throat mercilessly. Yuta… He thought about the other boy many times within the two weeks following that night.

That night.

It shouldn't be this hard to forget a random hook up. Taeil shouldn't be reminded of him whenever he smells vanilla or tastes beer. He shouldn't wake up in the middle of the night with phantom burns on his skin where he knew Yuta's lips had been, there were no actual burn marks but that didn't stop his neck from feeling like it was on fire. He shouldn't think about Yuta and his long brown hair and how he wanted so badly to run his hands through it again.

Yuta looked as if he was waiting for someone to approach him standing all alone in Ten's kitchen. Taeil didn't initially intend for the night to end up with him in the back of the strangets car with said stranger on top of him. His teeth and lips on his neck, his fingers digging into Taeil's hips which admittedly left small bruises on him that he admired everytime he looked in the mirror. The regret of not asking for his name that night suffocated Taeil.

“W-What about him,” the older reached for his drink again before realizing he had downed it all already.

Ten had the audacity to shrug. “Nothing, just thought I could set you two up or something. You okay, though? Your face looks like your hair.”

Taeil laughed, inwardly hoping it didn't sound strained.

“Do you… do you have his phone number?”

“Wait- for real? You're not gonna be all ‘Ten, I don't need anyone’ and lecture me?” The youngers eyes were wide in disbelief.

Shaking his head at him and thanking the gods Ten wasn't too suspicious of him yet, Taeil swallowed thickly. He wasn't sure if Yuta ever wanted to see him again but it was worth a shot. He needed to figure out what this constricted feeling was in his chest when he thought about the other boy.

“Well damn, okay… um… I can get his number for you,” still a little shocked, Ten seemed to be concocting a plan in his head. He whipped out his phone and began tapping away at it.

Meanwhile, Taeil found himself looking out the window again.

Yuta…


End file.
